среда, 22 июля 2009 г.

How not to get to a jealousy trap?

The majority of men do not take out active intrusion of beloveds into private life, in particular, shadowing: checks of pockets, listening of phone calls, requirements of reports «where was?». Quite often delays favourite after work and the released sight are connected with simple desire to stay alone with themselves. Instead of reproaches try to answer the same: be late on work, at the girlfriend, in shop or think up something more in an original way.

The feeling of jealousy arises at people obstinate and selfish. Such people make to all associates high demands. The thought on their own fault is unacceptable for them, and they shift on others all responsibility for insufficient (from their point of view) attention to themselves.

When such person faces cooling and tries to find to it an explanation, it easily finds it: to all fault it (it) which (which) had an extraneous interest, bent to incorrectness.

There are people from number ревнивцев which are inclined to exaggerate own lacks, troubles and dangers. They easily run into melancholy and despair. Including themselves weak and uninteresting, they believe that have not the right to count on the good relation of associates. But at the same time take hard the fate, are weighed upon it. They with watchfulness expect acknowledgement of the fears and consequently the slightest change (not only to the worst) the stranger to them of the relation instantly is caught by them and generates far-reaching, more often unreasonable conclusions.

One of versions ревнивцев from ущемленности can consider people whom, being protected from own defencelessness, take on some expression self-confident, resolute and even of the cheerful person. But it only a mask which hides the raised vulnerability and sensitivity even to insignificant inevitable conflicts.

At jealousy occurrence take your time with conclusions, and understand itself, in the behaviour more deeply. Learn to understand others, to trust them. The Given quality is very important in construction of personal relations.

The jealousy after all in itself very often creates set of conflict situations.

The prevention: even in an anger impulse never mention sexual sphere of your relations. Because a mention of worst aspects of intimate relations you can not only is sick wound the partner, but also put in it coldness in relation to sex, an inferiority complex etc.

If you sicken, take yourself in hands and postpone problem conversation at that point in time when clouds will dissipate. If insults has collected too much, better easy explain to it that you does not arrange: do not shout, do not offend, be able to listen.

The it is fast forgotten bad, the there is a pair more safely, more happily.
There is nothing more dangerous, than accumulation of insults, "sins", errors etc. First, they litter soul, superseding from it all that good that there already was. Secondly, they force to be engaged the second partner in similar process – a collecting of misses and flaws from which, naturally, nobody is insured.

Certainly, there are things, to forgive which it is impossible, there are principles, to concede in which – means to refuse from own "I". But whether it is too frequent about so lofty matters there is a speech? After all, as a rule, conflicts happen because of trifles which and enamoured will seem for the next day the ridiculous.

Remember: the one who feels the weakness rows and swears. Whether it is necessary to you to show, what you lose the control over a situation?

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